Butterflies

My children love to watch butterflies. Since the pleasant and much anticipated arrival of spring, we've had the privilege of spending much time outdoors to watch these beautiful little creatures. My youngest, just 16 months old, simply points at them and yells, "Momma!" with delight on his face. My daughter, in all her almost 3 year-old-energy, pursues the winged play things until she's satisfied with her effort to reach them, though they always end up just outside her grasp.

As we watched the butterflies circle the flowers in a neighboring yard the other day, I began to think how fasting is much like the caterpillar's journey to that beautiful butterfly stage. Each time I deny myself in order to pursue the Lord, each time I mentally fight to say no to something in order to welcome God's work in my life, its like God making a small change in me- just the way he makes small changes in the caterpillar when she's wrapped inside that shell. The Word says it best, "Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:1-2

Transformed. By the renewing of your mind. Isn't it my mind that feels I NEED ice cream and baked goods and something deep fried? (Okay, sometimes my stomach really wants that, too), but fasting is most successful when we allow God to renew our minds and remind us that His purposes lie deeper than our stomachs. We CAN do WITHOUT to be WITH all that God wants for us. We CAN say no to say yes! We're more than half-way there! Keep on being renewed, keep on being transformed. Oh, what a beautiful butterfly you will make, Dear One! Can't wait to see your lovely wings!

-Latrice

Putting Down Roots

Day 12. We're officially more than half way through with this fast. It hit me yesterday that in a little over a week we'll be celebrating the resurrection of our Lord (and I can eat a hamburger, is it okay that these two reflections are in the same sentence?). God has shown me much in a short amount of time, He's allowed me to experience spiritual highs and selfish lows. It's funny b/c at the time I even knew how selfish and whiny I was being and couldn't seem to stop myself.

I woke up just in a bad mood, tired and hungry and since there wasn't anything easy and convenient to eat I began to pout (it seemed easier at the time than actually putting thought and energy into making something - problem is I still ended up hungry). I then began to spout off about the eight reasons I was not going to be doing the Daniel Fast next year. What a horrible attitude! I realized that with traveling and being out of my element and the various additional responsibilities that come with that I hadn't spent a large amount of time in the Word. I hadn't been soaking in God's love for me, I hadn't learned anything, and I certainly hadn't gone out of my way to love on others. When I took my eyes off the prize this journey took a sharp turn south.

My YouVersion reading for the day was in Matthew 13 and I was drawn to the parable of the sower. I began to realize that with this I very closely identified with the seed that fell among the rocks. Sure, it sprang up quickly. But without roots it died quickly as well. I hadn't planted roots. I NEED to plant roots - without roots even going through this fast and what we've learned may not last. The hope, the wonders, what we've learned, what we're feeling, if not grounded will have no lasting effects. Those plants among the rocky soil do not produce. And if in this life we cannot take what God is doing in our life and use it to help bring in a harvest then we are missing out. We are missing out on one of the greatest rocket rides in the history of mankind, because God is moving. Did you hear that? God. Is. Moving. Don't you want to be a part of the greatest story ever written? But if we're not putting down roots, if we're not intentionally growing deeper in the Word of God, understanding His true character, then we certainly can't grow up and outward. If we aren't growing deeper and doing it consistently we will not be able to produce fruit. I was humbled to the point of wanting to hide. But our God is a God of love and being the parent and the perfect being that He is I believe He smiled and reminded that in the words of Matthew West, "It's not about population me."

My day instantly changed as I began to look for ways to bless others. I even volunteered to go to Cherry On Top and get Raymonn and Prayse frozen yogurt (with jelly beans and sprinkles of course) that I couldn't eat. A small act of service but it helped pull my view from inward to outward. And the best thing that could ever have happened? God opened a door to have a serious conversation with my four year old about the true meaning of Easter and to hear her asking to pray to Jesus to come into her heart and "do Xavier" (instead of "be her Savior" - but apparently she wanted to bring her brother in on it too). :) Grow Roots. Reap a harvest. Is our God not good?

Ephesians 2:1-10

God’s been using Ephesians 2:1-10 to remind me of a few things…

1) Ephesians 2:3 “All of us also lived among them [the disobedient] at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts.” Fasting and sacrifice produce a neon sign that defines the things my sinful nature craves.

2) Ephesians 2:4 “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by grace you have been saved.” Because of God’s saving grace I can turn away from my selfish cravings and crave what God has for me.

3) Ephesians 2:10 “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” God saved me, by His grace, to do good things…things that He’s already prepared.

As I continue fasting, I’m thankful for God’s grace and am asking Him what things He has for me to do. Some things are obvious to me (passions He’s put in my heart), some things I’m sure I have no idea about yet, and some things that are common to all of us…sharing the hope we’ve found in Jesus, being an encouraging person, praising God, loving the people all around us…

I pray that together we’ll be bold in our sacrifices and watchful for something good He’s planned for us to do.
- Jen Riddle

God’s Goodness @ Christ’s Place

Our mission: to praise.
To praise Jesus because He’s worthy…regardless of my circumstances.
To lay down my pride, my fear, my doubt and choose to speak of God’s goodness.

And that’s just a hint of the truth found in today’s sermon. Gotta love it.

So, today I will speak of God’s goodness at Christ’s Place...which won’t be tough because God is pouring out His goodness in our church in mass quantities. I love it!

Here are just a few ways I see God’s goodness alive at Christ’s Place…
• People walk through our doors destined for eternity in hell, they hear of the unconditional love of Jesus, commit their lives to Him and gain eternity in heaven.
• We have a pastor anointed by God to preach the truth with boldness…tackling tough issues like money, pornography, sex, and pride.
• People who have been drowning in financial nightmares have made drastic moves to follow God’s instructions and have gained peace and freedom.
• People tell stories of God’s grace saving them and healing them from addiction, fear, abortion, and prostitution.
• God’s gripping our hearts with compassion as 300+ people have volunteered to love the hurting people that were so clearly a part of Jesus’ ministry.
• People are making sacrifices to go to the world and tell others about Jesus or support others who are going.
• People are committing to Connect Groups where we come together and live real lives, with real problems and love each other like a real church family.
• People are making radical choices to leave behind their comfortable lives and step out in bold moves of obedience and faith.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.” Psalm 118:1
- Jen Riddle

I'm thankful today:

For the beautiful weather and sunshine,
for the laughter of my children,
for peace in times of worry,
for comfort in times of suffering,
for hope in times of trial,
for a God Who is near and gives perfect gifts,
for the discomfort of fasting that causes me to look at my own humanity and fall on His deity,
for 21 days to change all my days,
for drawing closer and nearer and stronger and weaker all together,
for you my family,
for us, His body,
for Him, our Head,
and for Heaven our home.

-Latrice

Honor

In the south, grilling is an art form. And the smoker, well don't even get me started. It's not a means to an end, it's not merely one of multiple ways to prepare food. No. The grill is revered and the chefs looked up to. Status comes from your grilling ability. Ribs that have been on the smoker all day, special wood chips prepared just for this. Chicken that takes what seems like forever but the wait is worth it, grilled at a low heat and seasoned just right. In the south, family gatherings revolve around these two things. Other family members test out the various side dishes, which homemade macaroni and cheese recipe is the best? The baked beans with everything thrown in that simmer to perfection. And let's not forget the homemade banana pudding. Oh yes, in the South this is the stuff that brings families together. And in the South, the calories simply don't count for the weekend.

I'm in the South. And I thought the gas station was full of temptation...

It's a new reality on this journey really, to be in an environment where there are questions about a Daniel Fast (and speculation). It was for a bit uncomfortable to have the spotlight put on the fast and on me. You know the old saying about fasting in secret. Although the interpretation is not a secret as we believe it to be. As uncomfortable as it was/is it drove me back to the book of Daniel. Not looking for a loophole (okay fine, it may have crossed my mind once:-) ), but to understand the foundation again. It was pretty crystal clear that Daniel requested and ate only vegetables (and fruits) with water. To avoid not just the unclean preparation of the food, but because this food that had been given to the gods of the country he was held captive in. It struck me this morning that although the unclean preparation would go against Jewish law, how dishonorable would it have been to eat foods sacrificed to something other than God? It is a constant theme throughout the book, this concept of honor -both in how Daniel honored God and how he honored his captors, "Please", "Your Majesty," "My lord" (lowercase l).

How easy would it be down here, where no one really knows, where I know my husband would understand, to play off the commitment I have made. Or to in the midst of many claim health reasons or to at the very least grab a piece of fish (seasoned and deep fried the way we can never make it up home... I'm just sayin) and say it's for lent. See, this fast though I'm beginning to see that it is about so much more than health, spiritual or physical, it is about more than a command. It is about honoring the one true living God. How do we do this without being a bit radical? Without selling out to Him in ways that are hard for us sometimes (not all the time, but sometimes). We can't. So we take the bold move, we make a declaration that come hell or high water I WANT MORE OF GOD and by golly, I'm going to get it. He promised. And it's okay to get the questions, it's okay to see the eyebrows raised in disbelief. It's about more than Sunday mornings, it's about more than a Bible reading plan, sometimes we must be bold.

A.W. Tozer in his book The Pursuit of God said, "Let no one imagine that he will lose anything of human dignity by this voluntary sell-out of his all to his God. He does not degrade himself as a man; rather he finds his right place of high honor as one made in the image of his Creator...In exalting God over all he finds his own highest honor upheld."

Isn't that just like an awesome Dad? In His children trying to honor Him the end result is us realizing and finding our own highest honor upheld. That is love. That is true, genuine, amazing love. That's our Daddy right there.

A.W. Tozer followed up later in his book with, "See how God winked at weaknesses and overlooked failures as He poured upon His servants grace and blessing untold. Let it be Abraham, Jacob, David, Daniel, Elijah or whom you will; honor followed honor as harvest the seed. The man of God set his heart to exalt God above all; God accepted his intention as fact and acted accordingly. Not perfection, but holy intention made the difference."

I'm in awe. God accepts intention as fact? Not perfection, but holy intention. I am a type A perfectionist. Nothing I do is ever really good enough for me. But to serve a God who looks at my holy intention, my desires, my honor of Him and reciprocates as "harvest the seed." The seed starts small, the harvest is huge. Look at how much corn you get at harvest out of one seed, much more than the one seed that was planted. Not only is God reciprocating but he is multiplying. This is amazing! This is something to jump up and shout about! God doesn't expect perfection, oh yes we've heard it from the pulpit multiple times but to really really really fold this into our heart and understand who the God we serve is and that he doesn't just expect us to keep doing and working and toiling for His honor but he wants to honor us as well. He wants to pour out his grace and blessing "untold" - we can't even put it into words, all because He sees our intentions and accepts them as fact. This is worth missing the ribs and the chicken and even the banana
pudding for a year. Yes, definitely worth it.

- Tiffany Adams

Meltdown

It happens every time you go to Walmart. You hear the wail gaining momentum from somewhere back by the toy section. If you must, you venture past on your quest for Twizzlers, and you see it. The kid who’s lost control after mom said “no” to a new Hot Wheels Crash-o-Rama and he decided the best way to change her mind is to throw himself to the ground and scream with wild abandon till he scores a 4.0 on the Richter scale.

Thank goodness that’s never been my kids.

{Insert sarcasm. If you have kids, own the fact that you’ve been there too.}

Lately, it’s been me having the meltdown. Yesterday was one of those days. God’s been calling me out in the areas that I still don’t want to let go of, in this process of dying to myself and surrendering each tiny piece of me to Him.

It’s not pretty, but here’s how it went down. “Jen, you know that neighborhood you’ve been to a few times last summer…the one that’s always on the news with the shootings, prostitution and drugs? If I ask, will you move there? Will you put your kids in school there and spend the nights when your husband’s working in the hospital alone there to love those people as your neighbor?”

And, just like my kids who try to use good manners, but still escape what they don’t want to do, I wanted to say, “no thank you.”

But here’s the deal…I can’t say no, no thank you, or I’ll think about it.

I want so desperately to be part of what God’s doing.
I long to be a player in His epic plans.
I want to completely belong to this miracle-working Jesus of the Bible.
I want to see the sick healed, the lost know Jesus, the dead raised to life again
…and those things don’t come while I’m holding onto comfort and safety.

So my response is to throw myself to the ground…whining, screaming, kicking, crying…until I’ve moved myself from “no thank you” to “Lord, I choose you…make me willing to do whatever you ask.”

I don’t know where God wants me to live. What I do know is that He’s pouring through my problem areas and working to make me willing to let go of anything I’m keeping from Him.

And, just like that, one more piece of me dies. I pray and hope that I’m getting inches closer to living dead. I pray that, as we sacrifice during this fast, our church as a whole creeps closer and closer to reckless abandon for Jesus Christ.

As we die to ourselves and live for Jesus my insides scream with excitement at what Jesus will do through the people of Christ’s Place, in our city and in the world. It’s going to get crazy, my friends, and I CANNOT WAIT.

- Jen Riddle

4 days into this 21 day fast and I've already had one of those days. You know, one of those days that makes fasting seem like too much of an inconvenience because my life is too important or too busy to be messed with. I was crabby yesterday, snappy and anxious. All I could see were problems and no solutions. I had challenges completely unrelated to the fast and they got me thinking: when I already have stress, already have difficulties, already have troubles, why add denying myself certain things I often without question indulge in, to the list of things that could cause me strife? How am I supposed to deal with the normal stress of everyday junk while adding all this unnecessary self denial?

But wait, that could be the point.

I'm giving up more of me to see more of Him. Could it be that the things that cause me stress, discomfort, trouble and difficulty are really just signs pointing to the One Whose feet I should fall at in the middle of all these things? When will I learn to have a God-response to the normal everyday stresses in life? When will I learn that life is full of everything- joy, hope, difficulty, prosperity, sadness, elation, disappointment, grace. Grace. Grace.

And can I ever get to the place where all of life doesn't send me reeling... but instead gets me kneeling...?

I want to see more of Him in the everyday, ordinary. Even in the things that at first cause me to worry, or cause anger or frustration, or annoyance, or pain, or discomfort. I want to see Him in EVERYTHING. For in Him I live and move and have my being. And wouldn't it be great, in the midst of much to do and much to fret about and many problems to solve and much to be worried and anxious about, wouldn't be great if I instead, like Mary, chose what was better? Kneeling at the feet of the One Whose words give life? Whose presence brings peace? Whose grace turns my focus from myself to Him?

May these 21 days of denying myself what I sometimes feel I can't live without truly set me on a course to kneel instead of reel through this life. You, too, dear ones.

Denial

Mark 8:34. Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

All of these years I have bragged to my husband, "How lucky you are that you have a wife who is so low maintenance!" Low. Maintenance. That was me. Anniversary dinners spent at home over a homemade pizza, birthdays spent low-key with family. I didn't need all of the bells and whistles. That's been my story, my I'msoeasytolove claim to fame.

I got smacked upside the head yesterday about my so-called, self-proclaimed low maintenance status. I was on the way home from a business trip and stopped to re-fuel the car, walking into the gas station I was assaulted with temptation - the temptation of stuff, of junk. No really, it was truly junk. I'm almost embarrassed to admit I about threw myself a pity party over not being able to get the bag of chocolate donuts. You know the ones that really are just chocolate flavored wax over circular cardboard? Yeah, those.

I realized, it's easy to claim that you're low maintenance when in reality you deny yourself nothing. The verse in Mark came to my mind while I was in the gas station, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Denial about denial.

I've been in this state for years and never even realized it. For years I patted myself on the back, two thumbs up in the mirror, "You go girl. You are so easy to love! You've got this." Of course. When I never really have to hear the word "no" it's easy isn't it? It's easy to think we're low maintenance because with the lives we lead we really, truly, in the grand scheme of things, are not denied much. Oh sure we have a budget and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't extremely tight in this season of our lives. We've zeroed out a lot of categories on that budget sheet right now. But really, when I REALLY think about it - I know how to get what I want. I know how to work things out to afford, to pamper, to give myself even my own little piece of Starbucks heaven. I have never denied myself.

But that's not what we're commanded to do, we're commanded to deny ourselves, to follow him. And even more so, the beginning of that verse, "If anyone would come after me..." If ANYONE would come after ME. Jesus is not saying, "Hey, if you feel like it here's a great way..." Nope. If we want to come after Him, which truly is really what this life thing is all about - then we MUST deny ourselves.

How have I gone my entire Christian life without reading this verse in this way? Because I've spoiled myself. Because I've been in denial about denial. Wow. Deny myself. Follow Him. For years I have asked, yearned for a deeper relationship with our Christ and wondered what was blocking the results. But I never once denied myself.

Deny myself. Follow him. It reminds me of a verse my Granddad always shared in James 2:17, "In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." He would always tell me that although works would not save us, faith without works is dead. It should be as natural as walking - Faith. Works. Faith. Works. Right foot. Left foot. Right foot. Left foot. Faith. Works. Pretty soon we're doing both so naturally that nobody around us just by watching can tell or is paying attention to whether it's our right foot or left foot, it is just the way we are walking.

It applies I think. Deny myself. Follow Him. Right foot. Left foot. It's a step, just the first one but I'm beginning to realize that once we step with the right, the left follows fairly easily and THAT is my end desire, to Follow Him. I've started, I walked away from the chocolate wax covered cardboard and went straight to my Savior. Denying myself allowed me to follow Him. What a journey. No more denial, but rather acceptance of who I am and excitement for who He will make me to be.

A deeper look into my life... www.clearepic.com

- Tiffany Adams

Live Dead

I have two words for day 1 of the fast…Dick. Brogden.

There’s nothing like a heavy dose of Biblical Christianity versus my American Christianity to drive me to my knees before Jesus. And so the fast begins.

Note: if you missed Dick’s sermon stop here and check it out at http://cplace.org/resources-media/sermon-archive/.
You can also check out Dick’s website for some pretty cool follow up info to his sermon - http://live-dead.org/.

Yesterday I spent time just dwelling on the words from the sermon. So real. So authentic. So meaningful coming from someone who’s suffered, been rejected & is willing to die for Jesus.

I’ve considered myself willing to do whatever God asks. But lately God’s been giving me countless opportunities to put my money where my mouth is and I’m discovering I’m not as willing as I once thought. In fact, in some areas I’ve got a white-knuckle grip on comfort and safety.

As Dick drew a clear picture of the Jesus of the Bible, who doesn’t promise a good school for my kids or a neighborhood I feel safe in at night or who might want me to go to an unreached people group where safety is a distant memory, I felt challenged to the core yet again.

When will I be so captivated by Jesus that I lay down my fears?
When will I know His love so well that I trust Him with everything?

The thing that was so beautiful to me about the sermon was that after Dick told of a Jesus that loves us endlessly and who allows suffering, rejection and death to sear His truths into our lives, Pastor Rick came forward and asked people to choose this Jesus. To surrender to a Savior that isn’t packaged in a pretty little box with a shiny little bow.

And they did.

A truckload of people were so captivated by this Jesus…they came forward to give their lives to Him. It was so powerful. It’s one thing to accept the American Jesus that has love, good plans, and happy times for us. It’s a totally different thing to give your life to the Jesus that requires you to die to yourself and live for Him. That’s epic.

For me, it was a reminder to quit whining about my fears. It’s time to shut my mouth and get on board because I want to be part of something epic…something where the Sovereign Lord uses a peon like me to be part of a plan that’s measured by eternity.

For now, I’m not living dead. I’m living in a messy battle where day-by-day I fight to kill my selfish desires for comfort and safety. I fight to know the Word and put it into action, sacrificing every last square inch of me to be like Jesus…in my house, in my neighborhood and in the world.

My prayer for these 21 days is that God will move me (and you) even closer to living dead so that the God of the Bible would be glorified and so that someone would come to know the love and the epic adventure that’s only found in our Jesus.

- Jen Riddle

I'm convinced that the designers of the game "Don't Break the Ice" didn't actually have preschoolers when they thought of the game. It takes a large amount of time to set up each little block of ice, which has to be set just so, so that none of them falls out. This set up, at least in my house, is always accompanied by the intense "Hurry Mommy!" squeal coming from my preschooler. Then, after all that set up, it only takes said preschooler about 30 seconds to demolish the board with that little plastic mallet, sinking the polar bear, and requiring adult assistance (aka: ME) to set it up all over again. After about ten times into playing this game with my daughter, I began to wonder how many more times she would desire to play with me before she got bored and I could stop putting those little pieces of ice in place. But, after each game when I'd ask, "Do you want to play again?" She'd smile wide and say "Yes!" And I'd look at that smile, the one that melts my heart, and I'd quickly set it all up again just to watch her uninhibited delight when I handed her the mallet and said, "Okay, you're turn!"

I sometimes wonder about the things God sets up for me over and over again, hoping that I will squeal with joy and delight at the prospect of getting to spend time with Him. He is a patient parent who doesn't mind calling me again and again, or inviting me again and again to be with Him. He does it every morning when I start my day. "Child, come spend some time with me. There is something in my Word I'm longing for you to see." He does it in the evenings before I'm too tired to listen. "Daughter, come spend some time praying about the things that brought you joy today and the things that caused you concern. I want to talk with you."

Fasting is one of those invitations that the Lord just keeps sending me to draw closer to Him. It's an invitation to look at how I've structured my life, and then consider restructuring it to get some more time in with a Parent who delights in my delights. The truth is, I'm most satisfied after spending time with a Parent who loves me, truly sees me, truly knows me, and truly desires good things for me. Nothing can fill the void of spending time with my Father, just as nothing can replace the one-on-one time I spend with my own child. No food, or beverage, or social media, or other want in my life can replace the need to know God and be known by Him. I'm willing to lay it down and say yes to what God has set up for me. You, brother, you sister, are willing, too, or else you wouldn't be on this journey.

And it will be trying at times. It's easy to say no to things we usually say yes to until the day gets hard, and life presents its challenges. It's easy to feel compelled to draw near to this God who is ever orchestrating the details of our lives so that we will know Him (Acts 17:26-27), when we sit in church with like-minded people and hear encouragement from our Pastor, but when we wake up Monday morning and there's work, and real life, and real issues, it can be more challenging. But, God, who invited us to this time with Him, will not abandon us. In fact, there is no place you can go where He will not be. And oh, I'm anticipating such joy! Such squeals of delight as we see what God has prepared for us in these 21 days and beyond! Stay encouraged, dear ones. All that God has in store is worth answering His invitation.

- Latrice Ingram

True Fasting

It was last year just before our fast that God brought my attention to “True Fasting” as described in Isaiah 58. This passage has continued running over my heart like a steam roller for an entire year now. As we get ready to fast again I still can’t get away from it.

Check out Isaiah 58...

As we prepare ourselves again to make some kind of sacrifice to focus more on Jesus I’m challenged once again that it’s not about me. It’s not about a little show where I play the martyr and give up something big for Jesus so I can look humble, feel better or earn Jesus points.

The kind of fasting Jesus wants from me is just what we’ve been hearing about in our "Compelled” sermon series. It’s about being one of the most motivated people on the planet to DO what Jesus said. It’s about being full on for Jesus and the things He was about. It’s about living out my faith by loving Lincoln and the world.

It’s not just sacrificing food or an activity. It’s me emptying myself of my sinful ways and asking God to make me like Him. It’s about putting my life…every last square inch of it…on the table and asking Jesus to use me.

It’s about my willingness to humbly serve and love the people in the house next door with no strings attached. It’s about opening my eyes to the people all around us that are hurting and broken and loving them as a friend. It’s about giving my time, money, and talents to feed the poor, and caring for the widows and fatherless. It’s about educating myself about the injustice in the world and finding what I can do to make a difference.

My challenge this year is to give up something for these 21 days while asking God to help me give up more of me, for more of Him.

- Jen Riddle

Ready To Get Your Fast On?

I'll admit it. When I was first approached about being a part of this project and I heard the words "Daniel Fast" my heart instantly screamed, "Nooooo!" It was a gut reaction, an emotional reaction. I should have known that when I usually have such a quick "no" reaction, prayer turns it into "yes." Funny how that happens.

You see, two years ago I knew this fast was coming. I was prepared. I was ready. I was excited. And then the day that the fast began I found myself standing in front of long tables of food, having just come from the cemetery after the burial service of my grandfather. My teacher, my rock, my personal prayer warrior, my spiritual mentor, my hero. Determined to still carry on ,I made it about half way down the line, looked at the cucumbers and carrots on my plate - and I broke. I didn't have the emotional energy. I tried a few days later to start fasting and broke down again in tears after a trip to the grocery store. It took me awhile to forgive what I then had considered to be a huge weakness.

Almost two years. Wow. God has done some amazing things, He has shown me the beginnings of who He really is, His character. He has shown me that those inner voices that screamed at me, "Failure! You're so WEAK!" were not, are not Him. That is not our God. He is a God of love, of grace, of compassion. A God who is still and simply cuddles his children when they need Him. So while I was emotionally catapulted back in time, through prayer God brought me back to the present. And even more, He reminded me of my constant prayer, my constant plea - "More please. Give me more of You." And I felt a stirring, almost as though He asked, "Are you serious? Will you trust me to move in you?"

Well, this is where the rubber meets the road, isn't it? I was once told by a dear friend that if we take one step toward God, He comes running to us. It was an amazing word picture, one I had never thought of before. I had no idea that was the God we served. But she was right. What we fail to remember often times however is that it takes that step. Just that one little first step. The sometimes scary, sometimes challenging, sometimes waaay outside of our comfort zone step.

So, I'm steppin. I thought it might be a little bit like a shuffle (you know, giving up coffee and all) but if I'm being honest - it's a step, a bonafide step. And although I'm a bit anxious, a bit nervous, I'm also a lot bit excited. It's a huge step of faith, a huge step of trust for me to declare that I KNOW God will move that I will grow. But I think that's what He wants from us. That first step and He'll do the rest. I'm excited to see what exactly the rest is, nervousness and all.

What is your first step? What is keeping you from taking it?

-Tiffany Adams